Conflict Resolution

FountainBlue’s April 13 When She Speaks event was on the topic of Resolving Conflict When the Stakes are High. 

Photo from left to right, Ruchika Jhalani, Director of Engineering, eBay; Sangeeta Relan, Senior Director, Quality Engineering, Nutanix; Wei Li, VP of Engineering Operations, ASML Brion; Linda Holroyd, CEO, FountainBlue; Sondra Bollar, Senior Director of Engineering, Oracle

Our panelists represented a wide range of backgrounds and perspectives, but they shared much in common.

• They managed conflict as part of their day-to-day work, as part of their day-to-day life.
• They build deep, trust-based relationships with a broad range of people.
• They focus on common goals and perspectives.
• They leverage data and information to keep the conversations constructive and positive.
• They learn from their interactions, from their successes and their challenges.

Their collective advice is highlighted below.

Accept conflict as a part of life, as a part of work. 

• Have an open and curious attitude about people who don’t share your perspective and opinion.
• Pick your battles. Win the war, and battle from the same side.
• It’s not always easy. But challenge yourself to make things work.
• You can’t always be right. Agree to disagree, but then commit to the chosen direction.

Earn the respect of others by generating results for the greater good.

• Go toe-to-toe with someone on their terms if the situation warrants this. But make it about the data and information, not about the emotions and politics.
• Help make all parties look good when a conflict is resolved. It doesn’t help anyone’s cause to say ‘I told you so’.
• Respect others for their varying perspectives and backgrounds. 
• Align thinking, speech and words.
• Be passionate and energized about what you do. But don’t be overly emotional if it makes the other party feel uncomfortable.
• Seek to understand before trying to be understood.
• Be the mediator and facilitator. Identify prioritized needs and assign resources and dollars accordingly.
• Try to make the other party look good, even if you’re right about a conflict you’ve had.

Build a Network

• Connect with a wide range of other people from varying backgrounds.
• Invite face-to-face meetings, especially when building a relationship.
• Meeting face-to-face also helps when you’re meeting people from another culture.
• Be curious about others’ perspectives, and open to other interpretations.

Keep learning, sharing and growing. Never settle.

• Take the ‘We are all one’ and ‘We are not alone’ mindset.
• Adopt a Quality-First culture and make a business case for it.
• Be open to people who don’t think, speak or act like you. 
• Communicate in a language the other party would understand.
• Be quick to listen, slow to judge, especially when others aren’t in agreement with you.
• Stand up for yourself. Don’t be talked over or belittled.
• Stand up for others who were dismissed or unheard.

The bottom line is that although conflict is inevitable, it can be a positive and constructive thing, if managed well.

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Please join me in thanking our gracious hosts at ASML and our panelists for FountainBlue’s April 13 When She Speaks event, on the topic of Resolving Conflict When the Stakes are High!

• Facilitator Linda Holroyd, CEO, FountainBlue
• Panelist Sondra Bollar, Senior Director of Engineering, Oracle
• Panelist Ruchika Jhalani, Director of Engineering, eBay
• Panelist Wei Li, VP of Engineering Operations, ASML Brion
• Panelist Sangeeta Relan, Senior Director, Quality Engineering, Nutanix

 

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